3. Christ and the Scriptures offer much hope to both spouses. To the adulterer, the hope and joy which true repentance can bring. King David, an adulterer himself, cries out to God in Psalm 51:12 for the restoration of joy in his life. Another way of saying it might be that the church offers a message that the adulterer’s identity for life is not a scarlet letter ofAdultery, but rather a restored and redeemed child of the King.
To the victim of adultery, the hope that God sees and knows their situation. He will not leave them alone to figure this out, but that He Himself knows the agony and disappointment of adultery. He understands the experience of being forsaken for someone and something else. The prophet Jeremiah proclaims in Jeremiah 2:13, “For my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water.” And not only does He understand the agony of adultery, He calls you to Himself to speak out your suffering and pain to Him each and every time.
Don’t expect more out of pastors’ kids (PKs) than any other kids.“My children need to have the same expectations as the other children in the church. They are not some kind of spiritual superstars because their dad’s a pastor.”
“All my problems are in my own heart.”
That’s a line from Mike McKinley. He offered that up about five or six years ago when I asked him how things were going at his church. Without flinching that’s what he said and it was like getting shot in the chest with a canon. Immediately I knew that my problems were in my heart. It’s taken six years to work out what some of those were, but Mike’s comment, by God’s grace, began an ocular log removal process that goes on until this day.
Is she willing to be honest with you?
Several years ago Cathi pointed out some of my major blind spots. It took an enormous amount of courage for her to do this, and she did it with grace, hope, tears, and humility. It was hard to listen to her articulate my failures, but I needed to hear them. What is more, the church needed me to hear her.
She served our congregation that night by helping me confront some areas that I desperately needed to correct. Many of the weaknesses that she pointed out were echoed in the church. Now I could see them. Her boldness was a gift to our marriage and to our church.